Mischief Maker
by Briea
Summary: Join James Potter as he goes through his years at Hogwarts as a Marauder and then becomes a loving husband and father.
1. First Year 1976 1977

**Summary: **Join James Potter as he goes through his years at Hogwarts as a Marauder and then becomes a loving husband and father.

**Mischief Maker by loudnproud223 **

_**Chapter One: First Year 1976- 1977**_

_**September 1, 1976, Boys' Dormitories** _

Man, am I excited!! Today is the day Sirius and I get to explore the castle's secrets and began to create a legend of ourselves like no one has ever seen or heard of. We will wreak havoc as we go through our years at Hogwarts.

Anyway...enough of that mushy stuff. Severus will never survive this school year. Sirius and I have already done some pretty cruel stuff to him. He's a slimy git if I've ever seen one. Would've hung him outside on that tree branch by the lake but McGonagall would've gone nutters and given us a week's worth of detention! My brother told me that a week's worth of detention was all she ever punished us Gryffindors with.

Severus earned every scratch he got from us today. He should've watched his greasy- haired mouth. He called Lily the-love-of-my-life Evans a mudblood. How could anyone call Lily a mudblood? A girl who isn't afraid of Cornish pixies and who's very name reminds you of you of summer flowers.

_**September 6, 1976, Transfiguration** _

McGonagall's not as boring as I thought she'd be. I think I'll be rather good in this class. That awful prat Severus is having loads of trouble transfiguring his bunny into a pair of scissors. I bet he's good at the Dark Arts and Potions. A future dark wizard if I ever saw one.

I'm done with my assignment. Sirius accidentally turned McGonagall's robes into one of those revealing dresses that the Americans wear. The bloody pervert tried to turn her robes back but first he went behind her and unhitched the button that was holding the thing on. He got a week's worth of detention.

_**October 2, 1976, by the lake** _

I found a really peaceful spot right here by the lake where I can write in my...um...journal. Wouldn't want the boys to know that I have one, right? Right then. Today Lily approached me and said that it hurt her feelings when we beat up on Severus in front of her. Here are my thoughts on that:

Thought #1: Why should it hurt **_her_** **_"feelings"_**? If anyone's **_"feelings" _**should be hurt, it should be the victim's. It's not as if I'm hitting, scratching, or kicking her!! In fact, I...**_we..._**protect her. Just yesterday he called her a filthy little mudblood for no reason! All she did was keep walking as if he didn't say anything. I don't understand the Muggle concept of ignoring people who make fun of you. How do you ignore something like that? I asked her where she got that idiotic idea from and she said something about a muggle fellyvision show called Dr. Phil? What is a doctor anyway?

Thought #2: What is it with girls and their abnormal obsession with **_"feelings_**?" You would think that the whole lot of them would have died from getting their**_ "feelings" _**hurt. And another thing...you would think that they had enough trouble with their own **_"Feelings_**," without getting mixed up with other people's **_"feelings_**?" I say it's every man for himself and if you get your **_"feelings"_** hurt then too bad!

_**November 30, 1976, by the lake** _

Christmas break is coming up...I've got to ask Remus about his monthly disappearances...in fact, let me go ask him right now...

There is a child here by the name of Remus Lupin that disappears once a month. On the first day of the month, like clockwork, he says he has to go see Dumbledore. I wonder what he does. It could be remedial studies but, every month? And with the headmaster of the school who doesn't teach anything? I want to know where the bloke disappears. I think I know but...

**_Later _**

I asked him!!! He said he wasn't supposed to tell but he told me anyway. Remus is a werewolf. Wait 'til Sirius hears about this. No wonder why Remus always has scratches and bite marks. You see, we thought he went home once a month to check on his terminally ill mother and that he got beat by his father every time he went home. Of course I didn't tell him this. He probably bites himself, wherever he goes. One day, Sirius, Peter and me are gonna keep him company. I've always wanted a reason to become an illegal animagus.

_**January 23, 1977, by the lake** _

Sorry for taking so long to write. Christmas Break was amazing...best Christmas yet, I'd say. I spent the holiday with my brother and his family. I don't know what my parents were thinking, having me... Jake had graduated from Hogwarts and was married by the time I was born. Mum and Tatiana, Jake's wife, were pregnant at the same time. Mum with Tatiana and me with my niece, Nina. Tatiana is Russian, and so my brother moved to Russia to live near her family. She has the most interesting accent on creation. Even more interesting than those bloody Americans. Tatiana is pregnant with my nephew now. I can't wait until he is born. I want him to be just like me. They said I could name him. I think I will call him Nick, not Nicolas, just Nick. Hopefully Jake won't think I'm trying to name their baby after Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost. Because I'm

I got lots of stuff for Christmas. But none better than what my brother got me. My brother and his family gave me the most expensive broomstick on the market: the one and only; for a limited time only; beautiful; fast; cherry wood; 108 cm.; Estrella 5-0!!! I can't wait to join the Gryffindor House team with this next year. Unfortunately, first years can't join the House teams. I don't see why not.

**_March 17, 1977, by the lake_ **

Lily pinched me today. She actually had the nerve to say that I wasn't wearing enough green. I told her that I wouldn't wear green for anything. I also managed to add that if the color "green" was all they sold in the Wizarding shoppes that I would either do my shopping in a muggle store or simply walk around in my birthday suit. Then she said that I was supposed to wear green because it was Saint Patrick's Day. Who is this Saint Patrick? And why does he have his own day?

**_June 30, 1977, by the lake behind my house...so I like lakes. Who cares?_ **

Sirius, Peter and I have decided to become animagi to help Remus during his time of the month...um...so to speak. I hope to become a stag of some sort. Wouldn't it be just wicked to turn into an animal whenever you wish. Sirius wants to become a black dog. Where's the mystery in that? Don't even get me started on Peter...he wants to be a rat. Of all the creatures in the bloody muggle and Wizarding world combined and he wants to be a rodent. I guess it could help. He can get into small spaces. It's all coming together, only a matter of time...

**Author's note:** Hello whoever was crazy enough to read this!!! Just joking. This is my second attempt at writing a multi- chapter story. Hopefully I'll remember enough of my plot to keep writing it. Please review!

Next chapter...James has a new love...and detention...what did he do?


	2. Second Year 1977 1978

**_Chapter Two: Year Two 1977- 1978 _**

**August, 17, 1977, by the lake behind my house **

I cannot stop thinking about Lily. I want to marry her one day. I got a letter from her and she has the most beautiful handwriting I've ever seen. Her letter said to meet her in Diagon Alley on the 23rd. I'll be there!!!

Sirius, Remus, Peter and I have been working on our animagi forms. This is more difficult than I thought it would be. I would go to McGonagall for help but we would get expelled for trying to be come illegal animagi.

**August 23, 1977, by the lake behind my house **

It is 5:30 in the morning and I've been ready for our trip to Diagon Alley for three hours. I don't know why I get so nervous around her; she's the epitome of my existence; why I breathe for the love of fizzing whizbees!!! Why did I have to know her my whole life? If I had only known her for a year, being obsessed with her would be so much easier. I wouldn't have to hide behind my stupid journal. She can't know that I love her. It would ruin our friendship. It's time to go...more later.

Later... 

Lily looked absolutely gorgeous! Who knew a twelve year old could look older, and so wise and mature? I sure didn't. First we went to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Another thing about Lily, she loves Quidditch almost as much as I do, if not more. Afterwards we went to get our robes. Next we went to Flourish and Blots. She is terrified of the man who owns the shop. I don't blame her. He looks like death, sitting on a corner waiting for the knight bus. He is ugly. He has a gap in his teeth so big, you don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal. Anyways...she slipped her hand into mine out of fear I believe, not affection. Still, I enjoyed it way more than I should have.

**September 24, 1977, by the lake **

I made the Quidditch team! Seeker. For some reason I'm not as excited as I should be. Maybe it's because we lost out first game to the Slytherins. Bloody Snape. As greasy as he is how did he stay on the bloody broom?

On a better note, Lily kissed me today. Maybe when she slipped her hand into mine, in Flourish and Blots, it was out of affection. I don't normally kiss and tell but...it was wonderful. Where did she learn how to do that? Her lips were soft and moisturized. Not all cracked and ashy looking like that Slytherin girl Patsy Parkinson. What was her mother thinking? Patsy? I think I will ask Lily to be my girl friend. I think she likes me. Just a little.

**November 4, 1977, by the lake **

I just had a brilliant idea. If the boys and I are going to help Remus stop hurting himself during his...time of the month...so to speak...um...then we are going to need secret ways of getting around. I notice something about the statue of the One- Eyed- Witch on the third floor. There's something eerie about it. Like she's hiding something. So I tapped on it with my wand...nothing...then I realized...why don't I use my mantra? "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Ka- ching, Ka- ching, bling, bling, bling!!!

So...um...I got into the statue and slid down the slidy tunnel thingy. Where was I? In the basement of Honeydukes!!! I immediately told the guys about it. We do need a code name don't we? That's the second entrance we have found into Hogsmeade without going the REGULAR, CIVILIZED way. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

**December 15, 1977, by the lake **

It's almost time for Christmas break again and we still haven't even come close to mastering the animagus thingy. I mean...how hard could it be to turn oneself into an animal. It certainly shouldn't take more than a few months to get some antlers or something. Sirius hasn't even started to sprout fur yet. And Peter...he doesn't even know the incantation. Don't tell him but, he is a total loser.

The other day I found this awesome piece of parchment. I know, I know, big deal a piece of parchment but it is special. It spoke to me. I dunno why it spoke to me...but it did. I think that parchment will come in handy. It's got pockets and sometimes when you look at it, it shimmers or something. I'll ask Lily about it. She's so smart and pretty (insert sigh here) and I know she'll know what to do.

**January 1, 1978, by the lake behind my house**

The most awesome thing happened over break!!!!! I sound like a little girl squealing about a kiss: BUT THIS KISS WAS FROM LILY!! Behold, the boyfriend of Lily Pad Evans. I asked her out after giving her this necklace thingy. I don't know why girls like jewelry so much. My theories are as follows:

Thought # 1: it's shiny, and they like shiny stuff.

Thought # 2: it actually does mean something to them _emotionally_

Thought # 3: they think it's really worth something

And last but certainly not least

Thought # 4: they like to attract attention to their necks, fingers and other appendages

Over the holiday, I had spent most of my time at Lily's house. My parents have been fighting a lot lately and Sirius wasn't home. He went to visit his grandparents in Spain or something. I think that's why his Grandma (she told me to call her Abuelita...er?) always calls me Diego. Diego is James in Spanish. And Remus was out with parents trying to find cures for his lycanthrope. I hope they find a cure. He goes through so much pain every month...um...and I feel really bad for him. He always looks like he gets beat up by his parents but he doesn't.

Any way...at Lily's house we had so much fun. Not that kind of fun! Get your mind out of the gutter...not that you have a mind...it's just an expression. But we watched movies on these giant projector thingies. We watched The Parent Trap with Hayley Mills and we also watched the Brady Bunch on the fellyvision. I think Greg Brady looks kind of like me. I mean, I have dark, unruly hair; he has dark, unruly hair. I have hazel eyes; he has hazel eyes. (A/n: I know Greg Brady had blue eyes, but I don't like blue eyes...so there) Then one of Lily's muggle friends from Scotland called on the fellytone and they started laughing about something...girls are weird. But I got to talk to her. Her name and she sounded like a man. At first I thought it was my dad until she started talking about polishing her nails. Why would you want to polish your nails? And apparently there is this polish that you put on your nails called nailpolish. I have one word to say: muggles.

One night Lily and me were in the loft upstairs. Her parents weren't there so we were sitting really close and that's when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes!! Under one condition: I had to stop making fun of Snape. Girls and their feelings...a bunch of psychos I say.

**February 14, 1978 by the lake **

Lily is mad at me. I have no idea what I could've done to make her upset. I sat next to her at breakfast like every morning. I poured her some pumpkin juice. And then I started to eat. Then she said:

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Then I said:

"Oops, sorry Lily Love." Then I kissed her on the cheek and I kept on eating.

Then she got up from the table and stormed off. When I called after her, she gave me the bird. As in, she flipped me off. As in, elevating her middle finger and pointing it... AT ME!!! **HER BOYFRIEND!!! **That's what gave me the clue she was a tad bit peeved. No, that was the understatement of the century. She was infuriated.

I have a few theories about her...um...misplaced finger:

Thought #1: Perhaps I accidentally spit on her when I kissed her

Thought #2: She didn't like it when I kissed her with my mouth full of sausage

Thought #3: Perhaps I forgot to brush my teeth and she...noticed

Thought #4: My breath smelled foul

Thought #5: She no longer appreciates public displays of affection

Thought #6: it's our 1- month anniversary and I didn't get her anything?

Although I'm pretty sure our one-month anniversary was last month on the 28th. But I just don't know what to. I'll ask Remus, he has a brother with a girlfriend so he should know what to do.

**Later... by the lake **

Well I asked Remus, who asked Romulus, his brother, and his brother told him to tell me to ask one of Lily's friends what was wrong with her. So I found Louise 'Peaches' Johansen (who just happens to be going out with third year Gryffindor, Harvey Thomas) and I asked her why Lily was so peeved at me:

"Peaches! Hey Peaches, wait up!"

"What?" she snapped. Geez.

"I was just wondering if you knew why Lily was so mad at me?"

"You don't know why she's mad at you?" I hate it when people answer questions with questions.

"No...that's why I asked you."

"Don't get fresh with me, Potter!" What crawled up her butt and died?

"Look, I just want to know why she's mad so I can retrace my steps and apologize, alright?"

"Go to the library. Find the muggle calendar. Look up today's date." ER?

"Okay...then what?"

"I'm getting to that. Don't interrupt me!" Well excuse me Princess Peaches.

"Sorry."

"You'll see the name of a holiday in the little box. Look it up in the book of world holidays in the culture section of the library. Then you'll know why she's mad at you."

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because I don't even want to be talking to you right now!!!" Well that explains the attitude.

"Thank you, Peaches."

"Humph." Then she gave me a dirty look and walked away. So I went to the library and went straight to the muggle calendar. And I looked up today's date.

_February 14, 1978: St. Valentine's Day _

What's so special about that? Why is Lily mad if it's a day for St. Valentine? It doesn't say St. Lily...but listen to this...not that you have ears or anything...

I went to the culture section of the library and it took me four hours to find the Dictionary of World Holidays. So I looked up St. Valentine's Day and it said:

_A muggle holiday that celebrates the union of two lovers whether it be husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend._

Underneath that, the word 'valentine' appeared:

_1: A sweetheart chosen or complimented on St. Valentine's Day_

_2: A greeting card or present sent on this day_

And then it suddenly clicked. On this day, a muggle holiday, I was supposed to say 'Happy Valentine's Day' to Lily and give her a present. And she was upset because she didn't get either. Now I get it. So I better go make it up to her.

**Even later...by the lake again **

Lily and I are okay now. But, man, was she mad. I went into the common room and she was there, sitting in her favorite chair by the fireplace. This chair also happened to be her 'angry chair.' So I walked up to her and started making all these silly faces until she said something. The second thing she had said to me since breakfast.

"Stop trying to butter me up, James. I'm mad at you." That's a start.

"That's what I came to talk to you about, Lily Love."

"What?" She sighed. She never sighed.

"I know why you're mad at me, now. And I came to fix it." And then I pulled out these purple lilies (tehehehe) and gave them to her. Then I held out my card and read it to her out loud.

_Roses are red_

_Lily is blue_

_I hope this makes it better _

_Because I love you!_

"Aww. James, that was beautiful! You wrote that for me?"

"Yes, for my Lily, the one and only."

"I'm sorry for being mad at you. I thought you'd forgotten."

"Actually, Lily Love, I didn't know up until a few hours ago."

"How could you not know? The entire castle is decorated in red, pink and white. The Cornish pixies have been transfigured into little Cupids. How could you not know?"

--shrug of shoulders--

"There are little hearts floating around."

--confused blink of eyes--

"Snape was frolicking."

Hold on one second. WHAT?? AND I DIDN'T GET TO SEE THIS? Not fair...not fair...

So yeah, while I was in the library desperately trying to find out why Lily was upset with me, Snape had been bewitched to frolic around the school...in bright red tights with little white hearts on them. That's the best blackmail material EVER and I totally missed it. Where are the guys? I need to be consoled.

**March 30, 1978, by the lake **

The most abnormal thing happened today. I was casually walking down the staircase from the boy's dormitories when I saw Sirius sniff his armpits and walk over towards Violet Brown, Chad Brown's sister. Now before I continue, I want to know why he had to sniff his armpits prior to his approach. My thoughts are thus:

Thought #1: He wanted to check for stubble (don't ask me why)

Thought #2: He was checking for any unwanted body odors

Thought #3: He felt a tick bite him

Thought #4: Maybe he hid some money in there?

But moving on about the girl. He must have said something vulgar because she slapped him right upside his head. He had a huge, red handprint on his face when he came back to the dormitories. So I asked him what he said to her:

"Sirius. What did you say to Violet earlier today?"

"Oh...you were there?" DUH

"Yeah...I was...what did you say to her?"

"You know. Just your basic pick up line." Oh no.

"Which one did you use, Sirius?"

"Well, just one I got from when I was in Spain." Oh no, oh no, no, no.

"Not the one that goes: 'Girl, are you tired, 'cause you been runnin' through my mind ALL day.'"

--shakes head no--

"Not the one that goes: 'I lost my wand, can I have yours?'"

--shakes head no and bows down in shame--

"Oh, man, Sirius! You didn't use that one...did you?"

"Yeah...I did."

No wonder why she slapped him. I just walked away in shame. If anybody ever reads this...don't EVER...under ANY circumstance approach a girl, or anyone and say:

_If you were a booger, I'd pick you._

Why? My reasons are thus:

1: Nobody wants to be compared to nasal passage waste.

2: That is disgusting.

and 3:

Boogers are not the most glamorous of bodily discharge.

**April 1, 1978, in detention **

Yeah...I know...I'm in detention instead of in my spot by the lake. But it's April Fools' Day...and I couldn't resist playing some jokes on my more than deserving peers in the Slytherin dungeons.

Last night, Sirius and I, along with Peter (Remus was in his special spot as it was his time of the month) snuck down to the dungeons under my invisibility cloak. After careful planning and strategizing, we began to...execute.

First: I thought that the Slytherin boys' lavatories could use a bit of re-modeling. We went in the lavatory and set booby traps near all of the urinals so when the boys went to take a whiz...they were in for a quite painful surprise. What is the surprise? Well, if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it? Let's just say that it has something to do with teeth...and a few unfortunate Slytherin boys won't be able to have children. What a pity. But the funniest part is, we conjured the walls in the bathroom. It used to say:

_All Gryffindors must die; especially the mudbloods _

Now it says:

_If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie._

Second: Sirius thought it would be nice of us to update the Slytherin girls' wardrobe. They look so sickly wearing all those dark scary colors. So we went in the girls' dormitories and turned all of their robes into tie- die t-shirts that said 'world peace' and 'solid' on the front. You know what the funny part is? They can't change them back...nobody can...unless we tell them the incantation. So they came to breakfast this morning looking...like a crayon box.

Third: Peter...who is an idiot but he's a good guy to have around in a sticky situation...wanted to pour water on their faces and put whipped cream in their mouthwash. Like I said...Peter is not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. Needless to say, we didn't do that...

So now the three of us are in detention with McGonagall who has us writing essays about why we shouldn't prank our other house peers. I'm already finished with mine and Sirius fell asleep before he was finished with the heading. 't even read the assignment on the blackboard.

**May 31, 1978, by the lake **

Finals are over. I don't know how I did on them, nor do I care. The only ones that count are the O.W.L.'s anyway...and the N.E.W.T.s. The only thing left to do at Hogwarts for the next two weeks is to just sit back and relax and listen to the grass grow.

**A/N: **okay people...end of year two. And it took me a year to write it, how very fascinating.

Next chapter: divination...and the marauder's map


	3. Third Year 1978 1979

Chapter Three: Third Year 1978- 1979 

_**September 1, 1978, by the lake behind my house**_

I got my schedule for first term... and it is the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole life other than the time I walked in on my parents...well you don't want to hear about that...not that you can hear.

First Term:

_Mondays: Double Potions, Double Transfiguration, Herbology_

_Tuesdays: Care of Magical Creatures, Double Arithmancy, Divination_

_Wednesdays: Double Divination, Double Defense Against the Dark Arts_

_Thursdays: Potions, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology_

_Fridays: Double Herbology, Triple Charms, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes_

I don't know why they put all of my hard classes on the last day of the week!!!!! This means that I will have homework on weekends and I won't be able to prank teachers and other students. What did I do to deserve this?

October 31, 1978, boys' lavatory 

Don't ask why I'm in here. Believe me...you don't want to know. I am supposed to be up at the Halloween ball but my mom sent me some prunes and well...you know the story. Let's just say that I've been in here for a while.

Somebody just walked in.

"Prongs?"

"Sirius? How did you know it was me?"

"The little doggy slippers were a dead giveaway. Why were you Scooby Doo for Halloween anyway? I thought that _I_ was the dog in the group."

"Lily wanted to be Daphne and she said that I was too smart to be Fred or Shag-"

"-Wait a second! Shag? Waaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (abysmal chuckling)

"No Sirius...not shag...Shag**_gy_**."

"Oh."

"Can you leave? It's kind of embarrassing to be talking to you while I'm taking a crap."

"Eeeeew...sure...no problem, mate. Why didn't you ask me that before we started talking about shagging dogs? Now I'm getting nasty visuals..."

He kept muttering as he left, and here I am...alone...in the john...

When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone; be a man! Use your hand! 

_Baseball Crap:_

_When you're sliding into first and you hear something burst... diarrhea, diarrhea_

_When you're sliding into third and you feel a slimy turd... diarrhea, diarrhea_

_When you're sliding into home and you feel something foam...diarrhea, diarrhea_

November 1, 1978, by the lake 

About yesterday's entry...somebody spiked the punch...and that's all I have to say.

_**December 25, 1978, common room (the lake is frozen)**_

Lily gave us the most awesome present in the HISTORY of presents. Behold: The Marauder's Map!!! Remember that wicked piece of parchment that I found second year? Not that you have a memory or anything...anyways...I asked Lily about it. Since she is at the top of our year in Charms (That's my Lily...RIGHTEOUS!!) she was able to turn my parchment into a very complex map. This map shows everyone in the entire castle and it even shows secret passageways that Sirius and me didn't know about. We found the one- eyes witch on accident and we found that trapdoor in the third floor corridor while skipping Herbology, first year.

Unfortunately, Lily does not want anyone to know that she gave the map to us. She doesn't want to get in trouble. She even had us perform a Memory Charm on her so wouldn't remember making the thing. So, the password is my personal mantra..._I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._ Then to close it you say _mischief managed._ Or else anybody can read it; and we wouldn't want that would we?

For instance, we were on our way up to the common room last night watching Dumbledore pace in his office when we bumped into Snape. Remus dropped the map and Snape made a mad dash for it and picked it up. Luckily we had closed it and said the password. He tried to read what it said and made a complete moron of himself with words like _abra cadabra _and _open sesame. _I swear...anyways... the map started to show some words and we got scared and thought that the map was faulty but it wasn't:

_**Marauders:**_

_**Moony**_

_**Wormtail**_

_**Padfoot and**_

_**Prongs**_

_**Advise gits like Snape and any other Slytherins to stay out of other peoples' business.**_

_**And adding to Prongs' wonderful suggestion, it is agreed that Snape needs to attack his abnormally sized head with a full bottle of shampoo.**_

Then it disappeared. And Snape walked away. It was wonderful.

Then Peter had to go and ruin the moment and say:

"Yeah...Snape...Why don't you go lick the back of your hand and smell it!! 'Cause your breath STINKS!"

Why do we let him hang out with us?

_**February 2, 1979, detention **_

Lily did the most unexpected thing today: She threw a teacup at Prof. Trelawney and then she left the tower. I was so proud that I stood up and clapped for her; and then that quack of a teacher gave me detention. Trelawney is the Divination professor and she has never told a true prophecy in her whole life and yet she teaches the so-called art that is fortune telling and zodiac reading. I think it's all a bunch of rubbish and I don't believe a word of it. Everytime she starts teaching us something, she stops, then she points at one of us and tells us something bad is going to happen to us. Yesterday she told Sirius that he was going to have acne until he was twenty- five. But that's impossible because his mum's fairy godmother put a secret enchantment on all of his mum's offspring so they couldn't get acne. Everybody knows that. I'll tell you what her problem is. She's been inhaling those fumes in her tower for too long...

After about an hour she told me that I could leave. Then she grabbed my arm...her voice got all husky and her eyes got even bigger than they already were...then she said:

"_The next Potter heir will either destroy him, or be destroyed by him. They cannot live in the other's shadow and they both cannot live on the same planet at the same time. The next Potter heir will..."_

Then she stopped. I don't know if I believe her.

_**April 16, 1979, Herbology**_

Correct me if I'm wrong, but in Herbology aren't you supposed to plant stuff? Because for the past three years that's what we've been doing. And then we get this substitute for one day who thinks she's all that and a bag of sugar quills...and she is telling us how we've been taught wrong and how Herbology is all about writing essays. If she wanted to write essay all day, she should've taken creative writing with the seventh years, because if I'm not mistaken HERBOLOGY is the study of HERBS and other plants!!!!!

I'm over it. But instead of working with Butobuber pus (a/n: sorry if I spelled that wrong) I had to write an essay about why literature is important to me...IN HERBOLOGY!!! What is this world coming to?

_**July 31, 1979, by the lake behind my house**_

I had a dream about what Trelawney said. I don't know if I should believe what she said. The dream had this baby boy in it. He looked exactly like me (not too bad) but he had Lily's eyes. Lily has these striking green eyes that are as green as a fresh pickled toad or the grass after spring morning dew. That's what his eyes looked like. And the baby was so happy but he didn't see the dark figure coming towards him; he didn't understand what was about to happen to him. But I never saw what happened what happened to him...because I woke up. But I was not awoken in vain...the same eyes that I had seen in the dream peered over me asI peeled open one eye at a time.

"James? Are you awake?" That voice is heavenly...

"Hey Lily Love. Have you come to kiss my eye bogies away?"

"No...but I did come to tell you that you are running late." Whoops...

"I am?"

"Yes...we are supposed to go for a ride in my new automobile today. Remember? Today is the day that you get to meet Petunia." (a/n: for those of you who haven't figured it out...Petunia will be driving because she is the oldest.)

"Of course, Lily Love. Let me brush my teeth."

"I was just about to remind you to do that." Like _she_ needs to remind _me_ to brush _my_ teeth.

So...I gave her a big, wet, sloppy kiss for telling me to brush my teeth...I think I grossed her out. What can I say? Don't mess with a guy that has morning breath.

Moving right along...today was the worst day of my life. Let's just say I don't think Petunia likes me very much. This is how our conversation went:

I held the door open for Lily, then I got into the car...

"Hullo. I'm James. How are you?"

"GRUNT."

"Oh...um, Lily, is she a mute? Because I can lip read."

"No, I'm not a mute you idiot! I just don't want to be talking to a bunch of nasty little preteens all day!"

"That's no reason for you not to say 'hello!' I mean...geez...I know you weren't raised like that."

"Grunt."

So then I stopped talking.

I have a few theories about why she felt the need to 'grunt' instead of talk. And they are as follows:

1: She had a piece of broccoli in her teeth and was trying to remove it and speak simultaneously.

2: She didn't want to talk to me like she said.

3: She thought I was a gorilla (due to my black unruly hair) and wanted to speak to me in my 'native' tongue.

4: She was trying to make up a different language and testing it on me to see how I would respond.

But I'm glad that she stopped grunting and I stopped talking because this awesome song came on the muggle radio in the car and I was just amazed at how it captured my feelings for Lily:

_It Takes Two (With Kim Weston)_

_by Marvin Gaye_

_HER: One can have dream, baby_

_HIM: Two can make that dream so real_

_HER: One can talk about being in love_

_HIM: Two can say how it really feels_

_HER: One can wish upon a star_

_HIM: Two can make that wish come true (Yeah!)_

_HER: One can stand alone in the dark_

_HIM: Two can make the lights shine through_

_It takes two, baby_

_It takes two, baby_

_Me and you_

_Just take two_

_It takes two, baby_

_It takes two, baby_

_To make a dream come true_

_Just take two_

_HER: One can have a broken heart, livin' in misery_

_HIM: Two can really ease the pain, like a perfect remedy_

_HER: One can be alone in a car, on a night like these all alone_

_HIM: Two can make just any place seem just like bein' at home_

_Just take two, just take two_

_HER:(Ooh!) One can go out to a movie, lookin' for a special treat_

_HIM: Two can make that single movie somethin' really kinda sweet_

HER: _(Yeah!) One can take a walk in the moonlight, thinkin' that it's really nice_

_HIM: But two walkin' hand-in-hand is like addin' a pinch of spice_

I love that song...I think it should be our song.

**_August 4, 1979, the Knight Bus _**

I'm on my way home from my brother's house. They liked my suggestion to name my nephew Nick. Tatiana didn't like that name at first because of the huge Russian Revolution and all that stuff, but Jake said he talked her into it. Then he pointed at her stomach, chuckled and walked away. I don't even want to know. I also saw Nina but she didn't talk to me very much:

"Hey Nina."

(irritated glare of eyes)

"Okay...so I'll got over here and pretend that I'm invisible."

(sarcastic smile)

And that's all she said to me. I'm thinking that she doesn't like me very much. I have e few theories on that:

1: She's jealous that I'm a wizard and she's a squib

2: She jealous because I'm better looking than she is (It's not my fault if her mom is ugly)

3: She had to sleep on the couch while I got her bed

4: Her little brother likes me and not her

5: Because I'm taller than her?

Who knows?

**A/N: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Please? For me? **

_Next chapter: is somebody sprouting fur? It's the year before N.E.W.T.s, who is getting irritable?_


	4. Fourth 1979 1980

_**Chapter Four: Fourth Year 1979- 1980**_

_**September 3, 1979, by the lake**_

Mum sent me a Howler this morning at breakfast. It was so embarrassing. I swear...everyone was staring at me and Lily was laughing...it was terrible. I don't even know what I did wrong. Everybody likes to play tricks on Snape it's not like it was life threatening. Yeah...he's still in the hospital wing...and he had to get some of his limbs re- attached but he'll be fine. This is what it said:

JAMES ANTHONY POTTER! How DARE YOU ENDANGER YOUR CLASS MATES WITH ONE OF YOUR STUPID, CHILDISH PRANKS!!! I AM SO ASHAMED OF YOU; IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! YOU HAVE BROUGHT THE FAMILY COMPLETE AND TOTAL DISHONOR AND THE MINISTRY IS QUESTIONING YOUR FATHER! **THEY SEARCHED MY UNDERWEAR BUREAU FOR SIGNS OF DARK MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!** POTTER, YOU BETTER STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT OR ELSE I WILL BRING YOUR JOHN BROWN HIND PARTS STRAIGHT HOME... AND IT WON'T BE PRETTY!!!

Like I said it was embarrassing and totally unnecessary...so I sent one back to her:

CAN YOU SAY THAT A LITTLE LOUDER, MUM? I DON'T THINK THEY HEARD YOU IN SOUTH AFRICA!!!

Do you think that was disrespectful? Not that you have a brain or anything...

_**October 14, 1979, by the lake**_

The O.W.L.'s are coming up next year. But Lily had already begun to study for them. And this makes me sad. Because we don't get any **alone time** because she is studying. This makes me very sad. Is this selfish? Oh...how would you know? You're just a notebook!

I've been practicing my animagus by myself for a while. And I managed to get fur around my neck, wrists, and buttocks area. This, much to my mortification, embarrassment and chagrin, happened in the middle of the common room. I was covered in fur and resembled a giant owl pellet. And everybody pointed and laughed... hysterically. Someone even had the nerve to say '_Don't worry, I'm not laughing **at **you; I'm laughing **with **you.' _I can never show my face in Gryffindor tower again.

_**December 1, 1979, common room...waiting for Lily**_

So...I told her to be ready at 5:00pm sharp...why is it 7:30 and she's not here yet? I'm trying to do something nice for her because she stressed herself into acne-ness studying for these O.W.L.'s. And she can't even be on time!! My thoughts are thus:

1: She's trying to make herself look nice because she's been avoiding me all year.

2: She's studying when she **should **be getting ready.

3: She's stood me up.

That's it...I'm going in.

_**Later**_

Well...I went into the girls' dormitory (guys can get in by jiggling the rail!!) and found Lily in the lavatory bending over the toilet. She was sick and couldn't stop retching long enough to tell me. So I went in there and held her hair back for her. The poor thing looked so embarrassed. This is how our conversation went:

I walked in... "Lily?"

"James? How did you get in here?"

"I have connections...are you ready?"

She came out of the lavatory; a green clad face and tousled hair. She looked awful and...sick?

"No, James, I'm so sorry. I ruined your plans and I've been a horrible girlfriend. It's okay if you are mad at me. I understand."

"Lily...forget about that...are you okay? You look like you don't feel well."

"Thanks."

"Lily."

"Yes?"

"Are you sick?"

nods head

"Then it's a good thing I came up here to look for you."

"But, what about your plans."

"My plans were to be with you. So I am going to nurse you back to health."

"Oh, James. I don't deserve you. I've been avoiding you all year with my studying and I've been absolutely horrid to you."

"Don't worry about it. You can make it up to me when you get better."

suggestively wiggles eyebrows

So we did the whole barfing thing where I had to hold her hair back. Then she asked me to read to her. So I went to the library and borrowed her favorite book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. I don't understand why that's her favorite book but she fell asleep in my arms while I was reading it to her. Then I wondered what it would be like if she fell asleep in my arms for the rest of our lives. It's a nice thought.

_**March 30, 1980, by the lake**_

Sorry... I haven't been writing as much as I used to. I've actually been studying for my O.W.L.'s with Lily and the guys. She's really been helping us out with Charms, but I still don't get it. I don't have to get good marks. I can always shine shoes for a living.

We've been getting really far with our animagi. Peter can turn his whole rear end into that of a rat. Sirius has fur all over him, but he doesn't have a snout, tail or paws. It's actually quite funny. And...drum roll please...not that you have a drum...you are a notebook...I can turn myself into a complete and total stag! Like Bambi's dad, only with bigger antlers. And if you're wondering how a wizard like myself knows what Bambi is, I saw it at Lily's house. I'm proud of myself.

_**June 14, 1980, the train**_

I find it odd that I've never written in here while riding the train back to Platform 9 ¾. Lily and me have the compartment to ourselves, but she has a headache. She's been getting sick often so instead of going to terrorize the Slytherins with Sirius and Peter, I decided to stay here with Lily. Remus just came in here and conked out on the other seat. He needs sleep because he had a rough transformation last night. His face is all scratched up and he ripped his toenails and fingernails out. Last time he ripped off one of his fingers entirely but Madame Pomfrey was able to put it back on.

_**July 31, 1980, in my room**_

I had that dream again. About the baby boy (who was about 10 years old in my dream but I recognized him) with Lily's eyes and my dashing good looks. Ahem...anyways...this time he set a dangerous cobra free in the zoo. This little fat boy then fell into the tank that the cobra was in and couldn't get out. It was quite funny and I woke up laughing. When I turned over to go back to sleep, I saw Lily sitting in my desk chair watching me. And she had tears in her eyes.

"Lily Love...what's wrong?"

"I just realized that (sniffle) I like watching you sleep." Re-he- heally? (a/n: from Ace Ventura When Nature Calls... I think)

"I like watching you sleep too."

(wiggles eyebrows suggestively)

"Oh, stop, Silly."

So, yeah...I think we just deepened our relationship. I feel all warm and fluffy inside.

_**August 27, 1980, by the lake behind my house**_

I just got my Hogwarts letter. And it was just a tad bit heavier than it should've been. So I opened it like any future fifth year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would. And a Prefect badge fell out. And I cried. How am I supposed to prank unsuspecting Slytherins with this awful scrap of tin plastered to my chest?? I am most distraught and must stay locked in my room all day to wallow in my misery.

**A/N:** Does anybody like that book? 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?' That is the cutest book ever!!!!! And now I have to go buy it. You know what to do: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

Next chapter: animagi...prefects...and the skating rink?


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